Table Of Contents
Foreword by Benedict Groeschel, C.F.R.
Chapter One:
We Were Made for Love
Some initial thoughts
The God who is Love made us in his image
How are people united?
The different ways we use the word "love"
Emotional love vs. Intentional love
What is behind emotional love
"Need love"
"Appreciative love"
"Gift love"
What is behind intentional love
Intentional love arising from a sense of duty
Intentional love arising from the desire to be
and become more
Love as "acceptance"
Why people stay together
Fulfilling the duties of a relationship
Fulfilling people's hope
Questions for philosophical consideration and
personal growth
Chapter Two:
A First Look at Friendship
Some things that look like friendship
but are not
The people who "happen to be in our lives"
Companionship
From antiquity to modern times -
Six authors' thoughts on friendship
Aristotle - the importance of virtue
Cicero - loyalty sprung from virtue and
mutual agreement
St. Augustine - God's love perfects and
transforms our friendships
St. Aelred of Rievaulx - distinguishing
real from false friendships
Michel de Montaigne-the experience of union
C.S. Lewis-friends are joined by a
common interest
Recurring themes
Questions for philosophical consideration
and personal growth
Chapter Three:
The Love that is Friendship
A popular topic
What genuine friends pursue when
pursuing friendship
What makes people friends?
Friends let each other into their personal life,
creating the experience of intimacy
The importance of character strength and virtue
People differ in their capacity for friendship
Jared and Ray
Dustin, Molly, and Jennifer
Virtue by itself is not friendship
Friends are mutually interested in each other
Friends have things they enjoy doing together
The commitment of genuine friendship prepares
one for marriage
What kind of a friend or spouse am I?
How do I relate in a given relationship?
Relationships take time to develop
The Initiating Phase
The Deepening Phase
The Abiding Phase
Questions for philosophical consideration and
personal growth
Chapter Four:
Friendship Experienced as a Culture of Love
How friendship is experienced: A culture is
created-a culture of love
Effectively communicating our love
The different levels of friendship
The sympathy of friendship
The "Four Loves"
Affection
Eros
Friendship
Charity
How the different loves relate to one another
Affection and friendship
Affection, friendship, and charity
Eros, affection, friendship, and charity
Creating a culture of love includes generously
giving the gift of ourselves
Experiencing generosity and the effect it has
on us
The benefit that comes to us when we see
generosity in others
Friendships between men and women
Male-Female interaction in general
Discerning an ethic
Friendship and evangelization
Questions for philosophical consideration and
personal growth
Chapter Five:
The Intimacy of Friendship
What is intimacy?
How does intimacy develop?
Nobility of life is required for intimacy
Honesty
Loyalty
Sharing each others' sorrows and joys
The pursuit of generous loving is more of a
process than a goal
Six college seniors - an illustration
Increased self-understanding increases the
capacity for intimacy
Questions for philosophical consideration and
personal growth
Chapter Six:
Intimacy between Men and Women
The love between the sexes
Love creates expectations
Real love is more than a feeling
The developing relationship - from dating
to marriage
Alex and Bonnie: a relationship between high
school students
Sherry and Vince: a serious relationship
between two people in college
Brooklyn and Cooper: an engaged couple
Communicating our love
Through things that are said and the way they
are received
By the way people look at each other
Through touching
Through sharing meals together
Through the making and keeping of promises
and commitments
Through giving gifts and loving deeds
Through spending quality time with each other
Through doing things together
uniqueness of sexual intimacy and its
connection with marriage
The language of the body
What is meant by lust?
Couples considering marriage need a common
vision of life
Communicating and experiencing marital love
Kevin and Madelyn: a married couple with
young children
Keith and Sylvia: marriage in the later years
A multifaceted diamond
Questions for philosophical consideration and
personal growth
Chapter Seven:
Intimate Friendship with God
The God who made us and redeemed us also
desires our friendship
Friendship with God is similar to, and different
from other intimate relationships
Mutual interest in one another
Virtue and character strength
Favorite things done together
Communicating our intimate love for God
Through things that are said
By the way we look at each other
Through touching
Through sharing meals together
Through the making and keeping of
promises and commitments
Through giving gifts and loving deeds
Through spending quality time with each other
Through doing things together
Modeling our life on the Paschal Mystery
The effect God's friendship has on our life
Father Walter J. Ciszek: abandonment to
the Will of God - in the Gulag
Experiencing intimacy with God
Mount Tabor and the Transfiguration
Mother Teresa of Calcutta: Her experience
of the "dark night of the soul"
Pressing the issue and drawing some
conclusions
Questions for philosophical consideration and
personal growth
Chapter Eight:
Putting It All Together
The loves "learn" from each other
What hinders us from loving heroically?
The "divorce mentality"
Tools for generous (and even heroic) loving
Virtuous living in general
Forgiveness
Loving well requires effort on our part
One last look
Making and keeping friends
Happy marriage
Developing a friendship with God
Intimacy in the Kingdom of Heaven
Questions for philosophical consideration
and personal growth
Endnotes
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